I Am A Race Reject

By Ash L.


The very first day in college was supposed to be an exhilarating experience for a teenager, being away from the comfort of the old nest for the very first time. Spread my wings I did, as i soared to the bright blue sky and started my flight, but what happened instead was that poor overweight bird got smacked by the other birds and took two weeks of emotional recovery before attempting to try again.

Well, you might be slightly confused by my analogy, but what truly happened for the first month in college was that the coursemates I initiated conversation with would not want to be my friend, as much as I tried to find common ground..I know for crying out loud this isn't a big deal to shout about, but there's a point I want to make here.  

I am a rejected speciment of my own race. Chinese people do not want to talk to me because I do not converse in Mandarin. Probably I had not felt the barrier so clearly because I come from a national school my whole life, where the Malays, Indians and Chinese sat together in class..I celebrated Deepavali, Hari Raya, Chinese New Year and Christmas with my friends..The best people I met and had strong bonds were Muslims, Malays, Indians and also my non-Mandarin speaking Chinese comrades..

I know that friends from a Chinese school background are born and geared towards a natural instinct of the survival of the fittest. Well, I wouldn't blame them.The system and society we live grooms them to fit the mould. 

Their purpose on Earth seems to be studying and getting the highest A+++++ possible they could achieve, land a scholarship, grab the highest paying job, procreate to continue their family name, die and leave the fortune to their children or grandchildren. And if anyone, yes, anyone dared to disrupt the cycle, the consequences are dire and severe.

Racism is when, say the Chinese are going against the Malays or when the Indians are going against the Malays..The irony is that racism exist in the very core of our own race. There is a segragation between the superior class and the inferior class, the males and females (yes the chauvinist pigs out there are still lurking around)..

I am quite sick of this segragation really. The political leaders are splitting us through politicisation of certain issues that only serve well to their political agenda..Ask any Ramli, Ah Beng or Ramasamy out there if they feel hatred towards their friends of other racial background..The chances are no..We still feel united. Or at least, I do. Yes, it is natural for us to generalise a person with their race and we all do it (admit it!) although we know it is morally and socially wrong..

Back to the burning question: Why am i rejected by my own race?? If a Malay and Indian could accept me, why wouldn't my own race accept me?

I now mix with a bunch of race rejects who share the similiar fate as I do...They come from Sabah and Sarawak. The Peninsular Malays wouldn't really want to hang out with them even though they are tied by the brotherhood bond in Islam..But you know what? They understand me so much better than the others. Well, who said there were only the All American Rejects?

Ash L.

I am Chinese on my MyKad but 100 % Cap Malaysia from the way I speak, the food I eat, the friends I mingle and the attitude of a true blue Malaysian. I might accelerate when a driver wants to cut into my lane but thats just about how ugly I can get..I might be a race reject, a social outcast but also a silent feminist and an aspiring humanitarian volunteer at heart.